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The right “distance” to show respect - Always have respect Vol.78

19 November 2019

The right “distance” to show respect - Always have respect Vol.78

One Saturday morning, the women’s team I coach had a training session at a public pitch located on a riverbed.

Normally, public facilities are rented two hours per reservation. When we arrived at the pitch 30 minutes prior to our reservation as usual, we found out that the field was open, expect for a young man kicking his ball around.

As our time came and we entered the field, the young man picked up his ball and started to pack his belongings.

“You can use one half of the pitch if you want. As so little number of players, we won’t play a full-size match.”

I told him as he was preparing to leave. However, he smiled and responded, “Thank you very much, but I am already done,” and he walked away.

Few minutes later, I saw the young man walk up the riverbank pushing his bicycle with his ball in the front basket.

Then he looked back to me and slightly bowed his head. His action led me to do the same, as I bowed my head too, and for some reason, I felt so happy.

I was not sure if this kind of personal and small event would be suitable for this column or not. But as I contemplated for a few minutes, I remembered another event that happened long time ago.

The scene came when I was walking with my suitcase at Heathrow Airport in London. When I was looking for my check-in counter, I found a Japanese gentleman pushing a cart filled with huge luggages.

A gentleman of small stature with long white hair. Without a doubt, it was Mr. OZAWA Seiji, a world-famous conductor. Although music is not my area of expertise, I knew very well about Mr. Ozawa’s high reputation internationally. Furthermore, by watching him speak on TV, I had always regarded him as a very respectable person.

Perhaps we were well over 20 meters apart from each other. However, when our eyes met, I automatically bowed my head towards him. In a sense, that was a way of showing my utmost respect to him.

Many people tends to walk up, ask to shake hands, and tell them “I always wish you the best,” when they find a celebrity. That may be one way of showing their respect. If you had been to Mr. Ozawa’s concert and wanted to tell him how moved you were by the concert, it was OK. However, that was not the case for me, as I had only heard his work through TV and CDs, so I was hesitant to walk up to him just because he was a celebrity.

I was moved profoundly by Mr. Ozawa’s reaction. Seeing me bowing from distance, he smiled and bowed back to me. This was an act which vividly embodied his warm and humble personality.

Maintaining the 20 meter distance from him, I made my way to the check-in counter of my airline. The fact that I could show my respect for him without disturbing his privacy deeply satisfied me, especially because I knew very well that I could be so clumsy in such situations.

Sometimes, it is not so easy to show your feeling of respect precisely towards others.

In some cases, it is best to shake hands and tell your feelings directly. However, there are situations you might want to avoid making such approach.

It is impossible to make a manual which describes what to do in each particular scenario. In any given situation, there are many contexts that needs to be considered, and we must nurture ourselves to make a right approach and “distance” that are appropriate in those situations.

In that Saturday morning, the man who bowed to me from the riverbank had a “matured sense of distance,” despite being so young. It is no doubt the reason that his act left me with such a warm feeling.

Written by OSUMI Yoshiyuki (Football Journalist)

*This article was originally posted on the Japan Football Association Newsletter, “JFAnews,” October 2019 edition.

Japan Football Association Newsletter “JFAnews”

The Japan Football Association Newsletter “JFAnews” contains all the information on the Japan National Team, and all the events hosted by the JFA. Tournament results and team information throughout the nation are also available. The official monthly magazine is a must read for coaches, referees, and all members of the football family.

For information on the newest edition (Japanese website)

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